Phone anxiety: why calls feel hard, and what helps

If you'd do almost anything to avoid ringing the dentist, you have plenty of company. Here's why phone calls can feel so much harder than messages, and practical ways to get the call made anyway.

Updated 24 September 2026

You're not the only one

In an Opinium survey of 2,000 UK adults for Uswitch in April 2024, 61% of 18 to 34 year olds said they'd rather get a message than a voice call, and 56% said they assume an unexpected call means bad news (Uswitch). Calls are live, unscripted and on someone else's timetable; a message lets you think first. It's no surprise one feels harder than the other.

Ways to make the call easier

• Write a script. Note the one thing you need from the call and the questions to ask. Having the words in front of you takes most of the pressure off.
• Have the details ready. Order numbers, dates, your postcode, your diary. Most awkward pauses are hunting for information.
• Pick a quiet time. Mid-morning or mid-afternoon is often calmer than opening time or lunchtime.
• Ask them to slow down, repeat or spell things. It's normal, and people are used to it.
• Ask for it in writing. "Could you email me that?" means you don't have to catch every detail.

Calling in a language that isn't your first

Phone calls are harder in a second language: no lip-reading, background noise and fast speech. Everything above helps even more. Say early on that English isn't your first language and ask them to speak slowly; repeat numbers and dates back to check them. For GP appointments you can ask for interpretation in your language when you book (NHS England).

Alternatives to phoning

• Online and in apps. Many GP practices must now take online requests all day on weekdays (NHS England), and many restaurants and shops take bookings or messages online.
• Email or web chat for companies, which also gives you a written record.
• Relay UK, a free service for people who are deaf, hard of hearing or have speech difficulties, lets you type and read a phone conversation (Relay UK).
• Someone else making the call. A friend, a relative, or a service like Ringdone, where an AI makes the call for you and sends you what was agreed.

When it's more than a dislike of calls

If anxiety about calls, or anxiety more generally, is getting in the way of work or everyday life, it's worth talking to someone. In England you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies without seeing a GP, and charities such as Anxiety UK offer support. Dito can take calls off your plate, but it isn't a treatment for anxiety.